Weight, weight, don’t tell me…

Here’s the new list:

2 slices buttered toast, SOS, 9 Hershey’s kisses, Snickers Dark, 2 slices Papa John’s Chicken Barbeque Bacon pizza, one slice Papa John’s Sausage Black Olive pizza, lots of Diet Coke.

I caught a rerun of The Biggest Loser on Bravo this morning.  Just the first minute or two, but I saw the credit sequence where they introduce all the contestants and show their weight.  I realized that I am heavier than everyone on that show (this was from at least last season).  As I have stated before, I don’t watch weight loss shows.  I think the Biggest Loser is a wonderful thing for the people who are on the show.  I personally wouldn’t want to have my life broadcast to the world.  And even though I have been more open about myself on this blog than I ever thought I would be, I still have some anonymity and you don’t see my highs and lows.  I still put on a (somewhat)transparent mask when I post.  I could never do what those people do.  First, I couldn’t give up that much of my life and keep my job or anything else that I hold so important to me.  Second, and probably more importantly, I can’t understand why someone volunteers to have their private lives displayed so publicly and without any control over how is it displayed.

Don’t get me wrong: I love reality TV.  Some reality TV.  The Real Housewives of New York City is a guilty pleasure of mine, along with Top Chef, Make Me a Supermodel, Sober House/Celebrity Rehab.  And while I enjoy those shows, I can’t imagine ever opening myself up to that kind of scrutiny.  Frankly, those who know me well will tell you that I am not that open in my daily life.  You have to be part of the Inner Circle to really know me that well. I don’t let a lot of people in there.  The fact that I am doing this blog at all is monumental.  I have had this blog space since 2005 and done nothing with it.  My main reason was, “Who would be interested in my life or what I may decide to say?”  I don’t think I’m all that interesting.  I’m glad a few of you think otherwise. 

I am naturally a very odd person.  My wife and kids will tell you that I am one of the most extraverted performers around, but at the same time very reserved and shy.  I know that doesn’t make sense unless you really know me.  I can get up on stage and perform in front of hundreds of people without batting an eye.  I know I have talent and that I go a great job, but I will come down off that stage and disappear in the crowd (as much as a 6’3” fat man can!).  I don’t make small talk at parties, and yet each night that I perform with Hunt Mysteries I do just that for most of the evening.  The big difference there being that I am in character and not myself.  I can say things as Big Louie that I never would as Tony Porter.  I have a very sarcastic streak, and this really comes out when I am performing.  My cast mates have learned when I am thinking something that I can’t even say in character, and they then revel in getting me to spill.  It’s a fun game, but at the same time, it is almost a curse.  I have seen people come to my shows that know me only from work or church, and I see the change in their expressions as they see this whole new side to me.  It really is fun to watch.  Sometimes, they can resolve the difference between the performer and the choir director.

And that is unfortunate.  We all have sides to ourselves that we don’t show to everyone.  I don’t let my sarcasm and wit out at church very often.  It’s not appropriate.  I don’t preach sermons to the opera chorus.  It’s not appropriate.  I try to be as genuine and honest as I can, as much as I can, and hope that people can understand the differences they see.  It’s not being dishonest to act one way in church and another on stage.  That is life.  And those that can’t see that are not being honest with themselves.

Today’s quote:

“When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away.  But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later.  Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad.  ~Janette Barber”