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Friday, August 13, 2010

Hello, Hello, Hello… Hello!

Hey, hey, hey!! It’s Friday!!  The Weekend!  Time for fun and frolic.  Well, I seldom frolic.  I’m not currently built for it.  Have you ever seen a large man frolic?  Not a pretty sight, I assure you.

So, yesterday’s calorie count went straight to hell.  3614!!!  The day started out well enough, but by dinner it was out of control.  I will name no names (Damn you, Papa John’s!! *fist shake*), but let’s just say that for me the way to hell is paved in pizza sauce.  It’s really going to take me some time to adjust to this whole calorie counting thing.  I have never been one to count calories.  I always thought it was silly.  Well, I don’t anymore.  I think it’s depressing.  I’ve been told by (I assume) reputable individuals that you should have about 600 calories per meal.  That would be 1800 calories, add a couple of 100 calorie snacks and you’re at your goal.  My little on-line calorie website tells me that to maintain the weight I’m at I need to consume 3585.  So technically, anything lower than that and I should lose weight.  So with the exception of yesterday, I’ve been doing fairly well.  Add exercise to that, I should drop weight like Barbara Cartland drops clotted bits of face powder and romance novels in equal profusion. [ed. note: I know that Dame Cartland has passed on.  I mean no disrespect.  That was one of my favorite lines from a Brit Com called “You Must Be the Husband.”]

The experts also say that you should ideally eat about 6 times a day.  My target goal for each day is 2835 calories. to reach a target weight of 197 lbs. To quote from the site: “This is at a reasonable weight loss average of 1.5 lbs per week, which should be reached by September 20, 2013. Experts recommend weight loss at the rate of 0.5-2 lbs/week. Remember that this estimate is based on your body weight, height, age, gender, and activity level. It may vary slightly depending on other factors.”  I am planning on adding exercise to all this, so hopefully my weight loss will be a little faster than this.  I plan to keep you all updated on that, as well.  Also, if any of you want to encourage me by helping me along in exercise, I won’t turn you down.  I may need to schedule it, but I won’t turn you down.  Just don’t plan any heart stopping activities for a while.  That would include anything more strenuous than walking at this point, I’m afraid.  It’s not a pretty sight to see me walking around the store, sweating and panting like a steam engine.  But as the pounds drop off, and my wind returns, I’ll be able to keep up better with all you that are in better shape than me (which at this point includes just about everyone!).

I’m hoping to go see a movie this weekend.  As I stated a few posts ago, the last movie I saw in a theater was “The Bounty Hunter.”  There are a few movies out now that look promising, so we’ll have to see what we can get to.  I’m ecstatic about this coming up Thursday.  Rifftrax Live! is happening this Thursday, Aug. 19th at a theater near you!  If you have never been to a Rifftrax live event, you really owe it to yourself to go.  If you remember the old MST3K from Comedy Central, SciFi (now SyFy) and the movies, this is the group that was on it at the end of the run: Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy.  They are going to be doing Reefer Madness along with a group of truly wigged out shorts.  And the great thing about it is, that after the show, you get to have free downloads of the shorts they performed.  My son, Geoffrey and I will be firmly ensconced in our seats in Sandy and the Century 16 theater.  Come join us, don’t you?

Also they are having a contest where they have posted 10 clips from Reefer Madness online.  You can view them and then submit your riff to the guys.  If they select your riff, you get your name on the screen as they read your riff, and a Rifftrax swag bag!  So go riff!  Although, I, of course, will win with probably a fairly off-color entry.  (Just kidding, Mom!) [ed. note: He’s not really kidding.]  I don’t know if you’ve ever seen “Reefer Madness.”  It was a “shock and awe” kind of movie, meant to shock the public into a sense of awe over the depravity of dope fiends.  Actually it makes pot smoking look pretty ridiculous, but with half decent production values.  And there are some lines in it that may have been pretty innocuous in their day, but come out sounding pretty fruity in the year 2010.  But you’ll have to attend to see what the guys do with them.

Today’s quote is a bit of departure from tradition.  I leave you with an audio quote from MST3K’s riff on “Jack Frost,” a Russo-Finnish production of a Nordic legend.  Pretty fruity, indeed.  This is from Crow T. Robot:

“It’s the seven dwarves!  Filthy, Rotting, Lousy, Skanky, Scabby, Septic, and, uh,… Doc.”

7-dwarves.mp3

1 comment:

Sue said...

Don't blame the sauce on pizza. It's mostly tomato paste and water. It's the cheese and meat that add a lot of calories. When I am craving a pizza, I use Boboli crust and add my own toppings. Even some cheese, but not a ton. Or Papa Murphy's veggie pizza is a good one, too. Hang in there, Tony, I expect to see less of you.