Yoiks, and Away!!

Well, yesterday was a real eye opener!  I finally got serious about figuring out the unholy amount of food I cram into my ravenous gob.  I was shocked, shocked I say… shocked to my foundations to realize that I eat an average of 3000-3500 calories per day!! [faint!]  No wonder I look like a bus.  The good news is that I now know what I’m up against, and can make a plan to go about getting it taken care of.  I know that I need to drastically shave calories from my diet and that I can start by doing the little things.  I am not going to make drastic overnight changes to my life, but consciously work day to day on making changes that will impact my calorie intake.  I signed up online for Calorie Counter, a web site that you can search foods and recipes and get nutritional information, track foods eaten, exercise and get helpful hints on making the changes to change your life.  I’m very excited, though very shamed at my scandalous behavior of the past.

I know that I’ve probably said this before, but I didn’t get like this overnight.  I all came about because of small things.  I made small changes in my habits that lead to other small changes, each change taking a steeper course down to obesity hell.  Exercise became less and less a priority; fast food became very easy to justify; depression added fuel to the fire, and food became a comfort and refuge from life.  It’s surprising how friendly a cupcake can be when you’re feeling the weight of the world.  Soon you replace the weight of the world with a large cushion of your own weight.  And while having to shop at the Big and Tall store (read: overpriced clothes for fatties) you begin to despair even more.  I actually used to like clothes shopping.  When I was in high school, I was a real clothes horse.  My favorite outfit was something I got just because I like it. [And doesn’t every man just want to look pretty every once in a while?]  It was a (and here’s where the blog takes a decidedly gay twist) a very pale pink raw silk jacket flecked with multiple colors, all very muted, a shirt with very multicolored stripes, and pink stripe tie and linen pants the color of (and nothing else quite describes it) raspberry sherbet [**gay mode off**]  I loved that outfit.  It was the most expensive thing I had ever purchased.  Somewhere I have a picture of myself in that outfit from a prom.  I’ll try to find it and post an snap.  Anyway, this was really the first grownup outfit that I bought all on my own, with no help from my parents.  Primarily because it was at one of those high end mall shops that popped up during the 80’s.  Like Benetton, but not quite so third world, and it had a decidedly *Fabulous!* staff of salesmen and their beards.  Not the place you bring your folks.  Looking back on it now, it all sounds very dodgy, to say the least.  But it really was a great store with beautiful clothes.

Anyway, I loved shopping for clothes.  Then I got fat and clothes shopping lost all it’s luster and sheen.  It became a drudge and a depressing slog through the mire of exorbitantly priced clothing that wasn’t all that great in terms of quality.  And maybe I lost touch with reality, but not being able to find a pair of pants for less than $50 seems a bit of a rip; $60 polo shirts, an outrage;  and don’t get me started on suits.  Oh, you say, Mr. Mac has a huge sale on suits every 6 months for conference.  Yes, and it your a normal person that means something.  They never have any suits in that price range for the Hefty, the Fluffy, or the Daaamn! sizes.  I just want to walk into a regular clothing store, have a decent range of clothes available in my size and be able to walk out with some change in my pocket.  Is that too much to ask?  IS IT!!!

So, yesterday I had about 3000 or so, calories.  Didn’t walk and took only about 1700 steps (I have a new basic pedometer).  So, pretty sucky.  But it’s the first day of my new plan.  I’ve come to the conclusion that you just can’t eat out and eat healthy.  I’m sitting here typing this, flipping back and forth between this window and a search for calorie counts for lunch.  It’s a crazy old world.

Quote for the day:

“Nobody seems more obsessed by diet than our anti-materialistic, otherworldly, New Age spiritual types.  But if the material world is merely illusion, an honest guru should be as content with Budweiser and bratwurst as with raw carrot juice, tofu and seaweed slime.  ~Edward Abbey”