Nothing like a hot soak…

Again, another few days. Can’t seem to post on a regular basis, but okay.  So, here we are, the Ides of March.  I agree that it’s best to beware the ides of March.  In fact, I’d like to avoid it at all costs.  I’m ready to go back to bed and cover my head and not come out until April.  If there was any way to do it, I’d be there in a heartbeat.

I also hate the change to Daylight Savings Time.  I have not adapted well to the change this year.  I’m not sleeping, I’m not thinking clearly (as this post will attest) and I feel a little like I’m currently losing my mind, but that will pass, I’m sure. 

I fell like I’m in a creative hole right now.  I’m in between gigs right now. The opera starts rehearsals the end of the month. and opens mid May.  I’m also hoping to do either the next show for Salt Dinner Theatre or The Tempest with Around the Globe Theater Company.  I just want to feel creative again.  Right now, I just feel like I’m blocked.  Even writing this is proving to be trying.  My synapses are not firing in unison today.  I feel like my IQ has dropped to double digits.  And low double digits, at that.  Maybe I just need some sleep.

Quote of the day:

“There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.  ~Sylvia Plath,The Bell Jar”

A Little Gossip, A Little Chat…

So I missed a few days, but I’m back.  Still struggling with my own image, my own perception of myself and how that conforms or disrupts the general perception others have of me.  I really tend and have tended through my life to be a very private person.  Only those who get to really know me have seen inside the fortress that I have erected around my inner self.  And it been erected both emotionally and physically.  That may be what my weight is all about. (Freudians, Jungians, anyone wanna jump in here? …?  No one?  Okay…)  I think that there are a lot of aspects to my psyche that even I am not willing to admit to at this point.  Maybe that’s why I started the blog.  I mean it a little self serving to think that anyone would read the ramblings I spout, but maybe this was an attempt to force myself more into the open.  I’ve tried to be fairly open and honest in what I’ve written.  I also try for a more whimsical, less psychological approach.

Anyway (a favorite word of mine!), this week has gone well.  I got to spend time with my wife for our anniversary.  We went to dinner and to a show and had a very good time.  I was able to also review the show we saw, and that, I think, was where some of my latest angst has sprung from.  The last review I wrote got criticized by someone who apparently felt that they had something to prove to me.  I knew that the review was not the greatest to begin with.  (You know, you win some, you lose some.)  But you feel pretty good about it when you post the review and then someone criticizes you and you start to doubt what you’re doing.  But you bravely post a kind reply that you really didn’t spoil anyone’s time by your review (except, obviously, the person that criticized your review) and try to go on.  Then you find out that your arch nemesis (as you now refer to him mentally) decides to expand on just how incompetent and truly damaging to the entire art of theater you have now become as a reviewer.  You really get your dander up and write a truly scathing rebuttal about how small minded and petty this person has become (especially when you find out that he was one of the actors in the show and now comes off sounding like a bitter, small-membered weasel who just wants to prove how incredibly smart he thinks he is by tearing you down) and your finger hovers over the “send” button.  Then at the last moment you decide that you will take the high road and rewrite your response to say, essentially, thanks and I’ll take your enlightened views to heart (when hell freezes over or I have my brain removed, whichever comes first).  So the end of all that is that you then agonize over your next review because you loved the show, but there were just so many small areas that seemed to miss the mark by that much (I know you can’t see my fingers being held closely together, but it’s happening nonetheless).  And it should be posted soon, so head over to Utah Theater Bloggers and look for the review of “Man of La Mancha.”  I will be going to see two more shows this weekend, so we’ll have to see what happens there.

Still no exercise yet.  No time lately, but then I have to make the time, don’t I?  Well, It’s not for lack of wanting, it’s just that I know I have to do it in the morning if I’m going to get it done.  But that also presupposes that I’m getting to bed early enough to get up early to exercise.  And I just haven’t done that yet.

Two Quotes for today:

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes. - Jack Handey”

“A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. – Tyne Daley”

A New Me – A New Purpose – A New Beginning

Here we are at another weekend.  I love Fridays.  And not just because the work week is over.  Fridays just seem more laidback than other days.  And I like that.

For our anniversary last night, we just stayed in and ate pot pies. Very Exciting!!  But we are going to go out tonight and do something fun. Maybe a movie, definitely dinner (at which I will NOT be counting calories!) and then who knows.

Tomorrow we are going to my great-nephew’s baptism.  He is such a funny kid.  Very smart.  Very brainy.  Very much his own person at eight years of age.  It will be fun to be with the family.  Then Sunday we are going to a birthday party for my niece.

Things are getting exciting at work.  We are getting some new people on the helpdesk and changes are afoot.  It’s really going to change a lot of what goes on here.  And I‘m excited for the future.

I have also been thinking that I really need to get serious with my weight loss.  I have had a lot of fun making jokes and such on this blog, but I need to get serious.  One of my neighbors is going in for bariatric surgery.  His doctor apparently told him it was that or he could wait to die.  I haven’t had a doctor tell me that, but why wait until that happens.  I need to get off my fat duff and get moving so that I don’t have to have a doctor tell me to plan my funeral.  This is not going to be easy.  Really, what change ever is easy?  But I have been in this rut for so many years that I have become the poster child for failed attempts.  On the bright side, it only has to succeed once to be a success.  I want to be thin again.  I want to be able to shop wherever I want.  I want to be able to comfortably fit behind the wheel of any car.  I want to be able to buckle any seat belt.  I want to have a cute butt again (assuming that I ever had a cute a butt to begin with!).  A new me – A new purpose – A new beginning.

Quote of the day

“Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it. - Ella Wheeler Wilcox”

Make of Our Hearts One Heart…

So, it’s been a while.  All my good intentions of posting often and doing more have come to naught.  I have continued on in my normal mode, casually watching what I eat, meaning to start an exercise program, and not really doing either.  My biggest frustration in it all is trying to keep up on all of what I “should” be doing.  Have you ever tried to start a new habit?  They say you need to doing something continuously for two weeks for it to be a habit.  It hasn’t helped me to do this.  I tracked my calories daily for well over those two weeks, and then one day got frustrated and haven’t really done it with any consistency since. It just gets to be a bit of a hassle, not to mention depressing that I consistently fall below what the tracker tells me I should be eating to maintain my weight, and I don’t lose a gram.  So either they are off or my tracking is, and I’m not sure which is more demoralizing.

Anyway, Today is a very special day.  It is my 22nd anniversary.  March 3, 1989 I married my sweetheart on a very blustery, frigid day.  It was so bitterly cold outside that day, and we have the pictures to prove it.  Bright red noses, dresses blowing all over; it was COLD!  The weekend before and the weekend after were both wonderfully mild, sunny days.  But that’s the way the world turns.  Although the elements didn’t give us a wonderful day, it was still the start of a wonderful and beautiful journey.  And on that journey I have had my best friend at my side, going along with me through the storms and trials, and through the glorious times that have been the past 22 years.  I cannot say enough about how wonderful my wife is.  She first and foremost has to put up with me, and as any of you who know me can attest, that is not the easiest thing to do.  And in spite of all my short comings, foibles, and petty jealousies, she loves me.  She love me despite the fact that I am fat.  She loves me despite the fact that I am one of the most frustratingly needy egotists alive.  She loves me even though I have some of the most maddening habits and quirks of anyone I know.  She is the love of my life and the sweetest person I know.  She never does a thing out of malice or anger, and she gives more from her heart than anyone would think possible.

Out family is doing well, and progressing in their own ways in such wonderful ways.  I somehow have a feeling that this year is going to usher in some big changes for our family.  I’m not sure how, but I feel that very strongly.  And I am excited and anxious and looking forward to it all.  I am not a person given to anticipating change, but for some reason I have the feeling that the changes coming are going to be good.

Utah Opera has announced the 2011/12 season, and I am stoked!  The four operas this next season are: Fidelio by Beethoven, Rigoletto by Verdi, The Elixir of Love by Donizetti and Of Mice and Men by Floyd.  I am so excited!  All shows have chorus and all are wonderful shows.  Elixir they haven’t done since 1986.  I am so thrilled.  I only hope that I make it into all the shows.

I am also continuing in my hobby as a theater reviewer.  I have done 6 shows so far, and have another 2 coming up this month.  I’ve really having a great time getting to see shows and becoming familiar with other companies.  You can follow all the reviews at the Utah Theater Bloggers website.

Quote of the day:

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin”