Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet

It’s been a few days since my last post.  The world has turned and so has my life.  You know things are crazy when you have to question all your moves and the motives of others.

Well, the opera is continuing, and of course, it’s La Boheme!  One of the greatest operas ever written.  The chorus is in the second act, and about 6 minutes of the third act.  But what music!  Fantastic, chaotic, soaring, beautiful melodies; great humor, romance.  It has it all.  Plus a nice paycheck for not much work.  I’d do it for free.  But I’m glad they’re paying me. ;-)

The past week has been a real pain in the stress department.  And as such, I’ve been very bad in entering my food journal and calorie counts.  I haven’t gone overboard, just haven’t been good about tracking things.  And the schedule for the next three weeks will not be good.  I have something on every single night except Sundays, and not even all of those are free.  But then that’s what I get for doing two show, directing a third and doing the opera.  At least I’m not being stretched too thin by my own selfish desires.

I’m being a good boy lately and eating more fruit.  I actually got my wife to buy pears.  If you know Kris, you know what a big thing that is for her.  She is not a pear fan.  It’s a texture thing.  And I even got some peaches today.  It’s a fruit that I don’t quite understand.  I love peaches, but the fuzzy peel is bit of a thing to me.  Never been a big fan of fuzzy.  But I like peaches, so go figure!

Quote of the day:

“I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly.  Tuna fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock.  ~Barbara Grizzuti Harrison”

Once upon a time in the best…

Life is good.  I have had a great day and things are just looking up all over the place.  My family is fantastic, and I feel like things are going well with my diet.  I’m losing a little weight (just a couple of pounds, but hey!).  I have the opera tonight, and I think that I’m memorized and everything.  We’ll see how that holds up under close scrutiny, but I feel good about it.

The show I’m directing is going very well.  We had everyone but one last night and got through almost the whole show before we got kicked out.  I am so excited about the way they are all doing.  This is going to be a fantastic show.  And I can hardly wait until we have everyone and can really start running the show.  I’m a little concerned with some of the music.  It’s a different take than any other Hunt Mysteries show has taken before, and that’s not a bad thing.  It’s just different.  I hope that it all works.  We don’t have a lot of time for changes.

This is going to be a short post today.  They all seem to be going that way lately.  The good news about the diet is that the lower than usual calorie count seems to be doing something.  I just need to start making regular exercise a part of my life.  Otherwise, my two year program may turn into a 5 year plan.  I don’t want that.

Quote of the day:

“If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information:  french-fried potatoes are out.  ~Jean Kerr”

I gave it a 9, but the French judge was pretty rough…

Friday I didn’t just fall off the wagon,  I took a flying leap and did a swan dive.  It all started when I got very discouraged and depressed at work.  I was very frustrated, and decided I really needed to get away from work to keep my sanity.  So I headed over to Arby’s with a pocket full of cash and an angry buzz, and got a Steakhouse Sub combo, with a Diet Dr. Pepper, and a small jalapeno bites and mozzarella sticks.  Not good.  The rest of the weekend was pretty much the same thing.  I didn’t much care to count calories, or be good about them at all.  And now that the new week is starting, I’m feeling the guilt.  It’s a strong, powerful, fleshy guilt.  Very good for keeping myself on task.

Had a great lunch this afternoon with my best friend, Randy.  He turns 45 tomorrow.  We commiserated over chips and salsa and chicken fajitas.  It was very nice getting caught up with him.  We have been best friends since high school.  Almost all of my favorite memories from high school and for years since have been with Randy.  There is an unique short-hand that we have that is amazing to me.  He commented to me that he has wanted to respond on this blog to several of my posts, but was afraid what other people would think.  He, of course, knows that I would laughing my hind-quarters off.  So, if you see a quote that you think is rude or insensitive that I don’t condemn, know it’s from Randy.  I would expect no less of him, as I’m sure he knows I would quickly do the same to him.

I did start exercising this weekend.  Just a night walk with my wife, and it wasn’t very far, but it was very nice.  Something that I need to do more of.  It was cool and I didn’t drip with sweat at the end of the walk.  I’ve got to try to get more of that in, but with this week, it will be a little hard with rehearsals and performances all week long.

Sorry for a short post (like you all care).  Hopefully I have more to say tomorrow, but no promises.

Quote of the day:

“Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.  ~Dan Bennett”

Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana.

Okay, so my updating of this blog is spotty at best.  I have felt a crush of things I’ve had to do lately, and I just find the easiest thing to drop and this, right now, happens to be it.  I try, but just don’t succeed too well where this is concerned.

I’ve been doing pretty well with my diet so far.  I am getting to the point where I automatically think twice before eating some of the worst foods I never used to even think about eating.  I am consciously making myself control the portion size of the foods I eat, and I don’t buy sugary snacks, as a general rule, anymore.  I have once or twice bought a candy bar, but I let it sit for a few days, and if I do get more than one, I no longer eat them all in one sitting, or even in one day.  I used to be really bad about that.  The Maverik by my work always has some special going for candy bars (4/$2) or theater size candy (2/$2.50) and I used to jump at each opportunity.  I would then end up eating all of it in one sitting, usually after everyone else had left work for the day.  Now I don’t buy them, and if I do get some treats, I portion them out across the week.  I know understand the idea of having a box of cookies and making them last.  I don’t trust myself to do it yet, but I understand it.  I guess that’s kind of like an alcoholic understanding not drinking but not putting it in to practice.  But if avoidance is the first step that I have to take, I’ll take it.

I had a great conversation with one of my friends at the Opera rehearsal last night.  We were talking about weight loss and the things you have to do to get yourself to lose weight and watch your eating.  He mentioned that there is one food in particular that he has learned he cannot even buy.  For him it’s Adams Natural Peanut Butter.  I can relate.  I grew up with a jar of peanut butter in one hand and a spoon in the other.  It’s pretty sad.  I went through most of my life growing up in pretty good shape.  I was thin and healthy, and had pretty good stamina for someone that wasn’t big into sports.  I used to hike up to the “V” above Bountiful about every other week in summer.  I used to go camping and walking.  I was very active and was always on the go.  When I came home from my mission I weighed 165 lbs.  Now, on a 6’4” frame that’s pretty slim.  We walked everywhere.  I never had a car or a bike.  I walked like a maniac.  I got home and sat and ate.  And ate.  And ate.  It was a recipe for disaster baked inside a huge plate of brownies.  And I swallowed it all.  5-6 times a day.  And that’s how I got to be the beached whale you all know and love.  Along the way I picked up some healthy neuroses, and a fairly active low self-esteem.  All of these things, of course, fueled the fire that baked by buffet of destruction.  This is what I’m fighting my way out of now.  If you’ve never been fat and depressed, you have no idea how enticing the siren call of the dessert aisle is.  It’s intoxicating.  And I’m going through the DTs now.  I think that is one reason I’ve been cranky and on edge about almost everything. 

Anyway, This is why I’m doing this.  I want my life back.  I don’t want to be a victim of my cravings and weaknesses.  I’d much rather be a “victim” of good health.  This is a long process and will take several months to correct.  I am well aware of the time it will take me to safely lose all this weight.  I’m not looking for a quick fix, just a consistent one.

Quote of the day:

“There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will.  ~Robert Frost”

And she’ll have fun, fun, fun ‘til her Daddy takes the cheesecake away…

Happy Tuesday to you all!  Yesterday was my birthday, and it was great!  Got to sleep in a little, my youngest brought me Cap’n Crunch for breakfast, I played a little XBox, had my parents out to lunch, and cleaned the carpets.  A good day and lots of fun to be with my family.  I love my family so much.  They are super fantastic, and I had such a fun time talking and laughing with them.  And this week, every night is busy.  So it was a great way to spend a birthday/holiday.

“Gravestoned” rehearsals start in earnest tonight.  I’m excited and anxious all at the same time.  It’ll be fun.  Like I’ve said before, I have a great cast.  They are all so wonderful.  Opera is proceeding this week, as well, and it’s Boheme!  What more can you ask for!  I don’t like being away from home every night of the week, but I do enjoy the small chances to have a great time.

Sorcerer went fantastically this past weekend.  I was not that familiar with the show previously, but I find that with each new Gilbert & Sullivan show that I learn, I have a new friend.  They did amazing things with words and music.  And they are such fun shows.  Next year is going to Iolanthe, another show that I am not too familiar with.  Here’s hoping I get to sing “The Nightmare Song.”  It is one of the greatest patter songs in the canon.

This weekend was bad for my diet, but it was not a deal breaker.  I just need to be careful especially for the next few weeks.  The weather is getting cooler, so exercise will be better and easier that it has been.  I have seen some small results from my work and efforts, so I am even further encouraged that I am on the right track.  This is not going to be easy, and I’ve got a long journey ahead.  This is going to take many long months.  But I can do this and I will succeed.  I will be a happier, healthier me, and I will be the kind of father and husband that can take my kids hiking, camping, and play baseball and soccer.

Quote of the day:

“If organic farming is the natural way, shouldn't organic produce just be called "produce" and make the pesticide-laden stuff take the burden of an adjective?  ~Ymber Delecto”

Oh, thinks you can think…

Here we are at the end of another week.  It’s Friday, and what do I have to show for it?  A reasonably good week on the calorie front, but no real exercise to speak of.  I am involved in four productions at the moment, and feel like I have no free time.  That, however, is a constant state with me.  I always seem to be burning the candle at both ends.  At least I have a really long candle. 

Monday is my birthday, and I’m turning 45.  No plans for anything special, except not working.  So, that’s a plus!  I’m having my first rehearsal for the Halloween show on Saturday.  We’ll be working music.  This show is fun for the fact that all the music is public domain.  Some great lyrics that will be fun for the show.  I’m anxious to start blocking and see how everyone does with their characters.  I think this is going to be fun!

I’ve added a music player to my blog, as you can tell.  You will notice that I have a very eclectic mix of music styles I like.  I tried to put in a little of everything.  I saw this on my niece’s blog, and liked it so much that I decided to add it to my site.  I’ll update it periodically.

Tonight is the first night for Sorcerer in Holladay.  I’m really looking forward to it.   I love the shows of Gilbert & Sullivan.  Sorcerer is not one I’ve been very familiar with previously.  I really like it, but I think the romantic lead is one of the most villainous characters that Gilbert wrote.  He decides to give the whole village a love philtre to make all the single people fall asleep and then when they wake up they will fall in love with the first person they see.  Then, not content with that, he forces his new wife to drink the philtre so their love will be always strong.  She does, and falls for the vicar.  Then everyone decrees the sorcerer, J. W. Wells must die to set everything right.  Alexis (the young man) is a true villain.  I really like this show.  And I get to be the vicar and sing two of the best songs in the show.  Great fun.

So, have a great long weekend, and happy birthday to me!

Quote of the day:  (Actually, quotes ;-)

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.
- Jean Paul Richter

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.
- Plautus

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents ... and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

We are always the same age inside.
- Gertrude Stein

Inside every older person is a younger person -
wondering what the hell happened.
- Cora Harvey Armstrong

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
- Maurice Chevalier

Getting old ain't for sissies.
- Bette Davis

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
- John P. Grier

If I'd known I was going to live this long (100 years),
I'd have taken better care of myself.
- Ubie Blake

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
- C.E.M. Joad

Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own.
- J. P. Sears

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts, now if it only came in chocolate…

Ok.  Wednesday it is, and Wednesday it shall be.  At least until midnight.  I’ve decided that stress is something that only happen to CEOs and poorly behaved children.  It’s been one of those weeks, and as I stated, it’s just Wednesday.  Close your eyes, lean your head back and picture, if you will…

You are a talented actor/musician who has just opened a show, has rehearsals staring for the opera, another show performing this weekend, and are scheduled to start rehearsals on your first show directing.  (In case you haven’t guessed, it’s about me.)  Now, let’s also assume that you have actors with limited schedules, a few producers that have concerns over your rehearsal schedule, you have music that doesn’t work for the songs in your show, and you have to find whatever you can on the internet or cut your own versions from the less that stellar versions you were given.  Now you also know that, since this is the first time you’re directing for them, they are concerned with your abilities, and whether you can pull it off.  Between your opera schedule, your two shows, and the directing, figuring out music, rewriting what doesn’t work musically, and making everyone happy (and seemingly not succeeding), you might just begin to understand what I am feeling at this particular moment.  The weight on my chest is becoming a spectacular friend and is slowly evolving into a snuggie.  A spectacularly heavy snuggie, but a snuggie nevertheless.  This will all end soon, and I will be back to my very wonderful self.  Although, I may need some help hiding the bodies.

As I said, tonight starts the rehearsals for the opera, La Boheme. I am very excited to see everyone again.  It’s been a long summer.  I love doing the operas.  It’s such a great experience every time.  It may not be the experience that you expected, but it is great.  If only in the stories that you can tell all the new chorus members when they come into the group.  And Boheme is one of my personal favorites.  The music is exquisite, the story is heart-breakingly beautiful.  It’s a grand night out.  I get to have five of those grand nights.

Apparently word is getting out about my new quest for less of me.  I’m getting support from the costume shop at Utah Opera.  I love those people.  They are wonderful in every way.  Rose may have her detractors, those who are late or miss a costume fitting and incur her wrath, but over the years I have come to have the softest of spots in my heart for her and her whole crew.  They are the most amazing cutters, drapers, tailors and clothing artists I know.  And the resident designer is simply amazing.  Susan is gifted.  That’s not a word I bandy about.  I have been so lucky to have been a part of Utah Opera for so many years, and count myself blessed to have known them all.  They make us all look amazing on stage.

My diet continues on course. I’m still keeping the calorie count low, and adding what little exercise I can right now.  The stress is freaking me out, but I’ll overcome that soon enough.  So until tomorrow, have an awesome day.

Quote of the day:

“Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.  ~Josh Billings”