Reality, schmeality! Pass the remote!!

I have recently been watching a lot of reality television.  Too much, in fact.  And it only seems to get worse.  Every network, it seems, has a spate of new reality TV shows, and each one seems to feed off more and more low-level bottom feeders.  I say this knowing full-well that I am not the cream of society, but neither am I the obviously disturbed individuals that appear on these shows.

Take, for instance, “Work of Art: The Next Great Artist” currently showing on BRAVO.  This show touts itself as venue to discover the up and coming (more on that later!) artists.  I found some of the early challenges intriguing, dealing with creating book cover art, using different media, etc.  Then the “shocking” challenge happened.  Create a piece of art that is shocking.  And the one that won was amazing.  Titled “I. E. D. (Improvised Explosive Device)” it featured three heads, mounted to a board.  The heads depicted young black men, and the heads were also depicted a bombs, symbolizing the explosive tendencies that can occur in inner city youth.  Unfortunately, most of the “shocking” art tended toward the sexual.  And it was not so much shocking as disgusting, including what I consider the most vile entry, a drawing of writhing bodies in the iconic shape of Mickey Mouse’s head with the added touch of the artist’s, (who shall I say this…) … well, let’s just say that he REALLY likes his own art work.  (If that isn’t clear to you, you’re better off, frankly.)  And then again this week, the winners were a pair of artists, including the above mentioned jerk (no pun intended), and again it was a very sexual thing.  Now, I know a few professional artists, and art is not all about sexuality.  In fact most art has nothing to do with sexuality, or sex, or debasing yourself on a piece of canvas.  Work of Art is a piece of garbage.  And if it weren’t for the few who seem to take the idea of making art into “let’s see how this will shake up middle America…” it might not have to be.

And don’t get me started on the whole “Real Housewives of [insert city here]” thing!  I will freely admit to having been hooked on the New York City housewives (a broad term, to be sure).  This season was one that almost made me ashamed to admit to watching it.  I have not really followed the Orange County wives, and just had no real interest in the Atlanta version.  I absolutely refused to watch even one minute of the New Jersey crowd, and can only say from what I’ve seen of the ads, Thank Goodness!!  A bigger bunch of insane women could not have been put together on one show.  And frankly they make the Sopranos look like a quilting bee.

Now I don’t hate all reality TV.  Top Chef, Project Runway, Last Comic Standing are all fun to watch.  I have never been able to get into That Damned Karaoke Show (excuse me, American Idol).  Just seems like a bunch of fluff, and after the whole Sanjaya thing, they lost me totally.

On a different note, I found a blog of someone who follows my blog, and it is a real treat.  “~A New Me~” is a wonderful blog about one woman’s fight to lose her extra weight.  Very fun to read, and inspiring. Makes this blog look like a joke. ;-)

Anyway, my battle goes on unabated.  Or as unabated as it can be when I’m not really making all that great an effort at it right now.  My efforts are not organized, nor am I really following any plan.  I try to limit my portions, and limit binges and late night scarfing, but that really doesn’t do the trick.  I know that weight loss is not easy.  If it was, I wouldn’t be writing this blog.  And I know that there are no end of fiends who would help if I just asked.  But when you know how much you have to lose (over 200 lbs.) and you know what it is that people see when they look at you (because as much as you try not to look at yourself in the mirror, when you do even you are shocked) asking for that help can be very hard.  You have to admit to the lifestyle that you’ve let yourself slip into to get like this.  You have to admit that you don’t have the personal willpower to overcome this on your own.  You have to admit that you are essentially a weak individual.  And when you have such a powerful ego, admitting all that can be very hard.  Even as I’m writing this, I know it sounds self-serving to say.  I know that it also sounds pretty maudlin.  And that’s not a label I like to apply to myself.  When I was younger (so much younger than today), I never needed anybody’s help in any way (Sorry, Paul).  I was a happy kid.  I made other people happy (I think) and had fun.  I’ve lost my sense of fun, or at least part of it.  That happens to us all.  We grow up, we get married, have kids.  What was once a life of living in the moment has to evolve into caring for the future.  I don’t regret that.  I regret not keeping part of that sense of wonder at the little moments.  I’ve let myself get so bogged down in my depression and my “trials” that I haven’t kept that sense of wonder.  As I think I’ve said in past posts, I can poke as much fun at myself as anyone.  And I am not too proud to look like the fool.  Hey, I do plenty of that without even trying.  But somewhere along the line, I lost my sense of wonder.  I’m trying to get it back, and little by little I think it’s coming.  But it’s hard.  Just like losing weight.

Today’s quote:

“We are all dietetic sinners; only a small percent of what we eat nourishes us; the balance goes to waste and loss of energy.  ~William Osler”

It’s all make-believe, isn’t it?

Here we are again.  The week has sped by, and I’m looking in the face of a long weekend.  YEAH!!  I have a show this weekend to look forward to, and the beginning of a new run for the Altos starting soon.  We have a great cast for the show, and it’s always been my favorite role to play.  Just plain fun all the way around.

I keep trying to write this paragraph and have to rewrite it.  I like the idea of a truthful blog entry, but sometimes the truth could be a little too brutal.  And this is not the place to criticize people I work with.  That place is at lunch with the other employees.  I get along with everyone really well, but there are just some things that drive me to want to scream.  But, I just keep telling myself that everything has a way of working itself out.  And in the end, good works bring good results.

I was thinking the other day, it’s been about two months since my wife and I have been out on a date or seen a movie.  That’s just not right.  I think the last movie we saw was “The Bounty Hunter.”  That’s sad.  The last “dates” we’ve had have consisted of Kris coming to watch me perform in a show.  Now, she is especially happy to point out that for most of our married life, that is what our dates have consisted of.  Or as she puts it, “I get to go watch my husband kiss other women.”  Except that now I don’t kiss women.  I don’t tend to play the romantic lead anymore.  Not that I’m complaining, but it means that I’m old.  And fat.  and moving on to character roles.  Now, some of the greatest actors in the world are character actors: Seymour Cassel, Dan Hedaya, Saul Rubinek, Royal Dano, Austin Pendleton, James Cromwell.  All great actors.  They are the ones you see in the movies, and say “Oh, it’s That Guy.”  I guess I’m becoming That Guy.  I guess it could be worse.  I could become the guy that when everyone sees me they say, “oh, no, not That Guy!”  So, it could be worse.

So, here’s wishing everyone a fantastic Pioneer Day weekend.  If you feel so inclined, come see the closing night of Cruise to Remember at Spaghetti Mama’s on Friday, July 23rd and watch some fireworks.  OR come next week and see the final shows of “Walk the Red Carpet: An Oscar Winning Confession,” July 30th & 31st at Spaghetti Mama’s.  See huntmysteries.com for tickets.

Quote of the day:

“I don't think America will have really made it until we have our own salad dressing.  Until then we're stuck behind the French, Italians, Russians and Caesarians.  ~Pat McNelis”

Don’t hate me because I’m pathetic…

Well, it’s been another long day, and it’s time for another post.  Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, so they say.  Consistency is never something I’ve been burdened with.  Just ask my sweet wife.  Consistency is something I should strive for, but I just can’t seem to do it on a daily basis.  I’m too easily dis…oh look, a chicken.

I’m fast approaching my 45th birthday on September 6th.  My wife likes to remind me that I look every one of my 45 years. I like to remind her that she’s older than I am.  She retorts, “yes, but you look older than I do.”  Gotta love her!  I’m starting to feel my 45 years, too, which just sucks.  I used to be able to tell myself that I was young at heart, but now I’m on fiber once or twice a week, I make odd sounds when I get up from the couch, and I have more hair in my ears and up my nose than I have on my head.  Getting old is crap.  And I have the usual ribs from my kids to look forward to.  I will likely be awakened to the wonderful song by They Might Be Giants, “Older.”  Have you heard this one?  Great little song.  “You’re older than you’ve ever been / And now you’re even older / And now you’re even older / And now you’re even older / You’re older than you’ve ever been / And now you’re even older / And now you’re older still.”  Great song.  They also like to play “The Way I Am” by Ingrid Michaelson for the line “I’d buy you Rogaine / When you start losing all your hair.”  We were riding in the car one day and this song was playing.  I said, ”Ooh, I love this song,” just as that line played.  My kids have never let me for get that.  The little dears!

Someday someone is going to come up to and say, “May I help you, sir?”  and it won’t be because you’re burdened with packages, or any other of a dozen simple reasons.  It will be because, and you will realize this as you look into their innocent, young face, you are old.  45 is not old.  But apparently I wear my age like a neon sign.  I’m in reasonably good health (considering I’m morbidly obese) and I can still cut a rug with the best of them (although I require much longer break to recover).  I have all my faculties (although they may be slipping just a bit ‘round the edges) and I can still do complex algebra equations (though heaven help if my son ever goes into calculus!).  Why then do I feel so damn old?  Maybe it’s something that I’ve let slip.  Maybe it’s that sense of fun that I had as a teenager that somehow got dropped from my pocket as I climbed out the car one day.  Maybe I left in my jacket when it went through the wash and it’s crumpled in a heap in the lint trap.  Thank goodness I have my kids and my amazing wife to remind me that, even though I may have lost my unbridled craziness, I still have the best thing anyone could ask for: a family that loves me regardless of my faults, regardless of my hang-ups, and regardless of the times I sit and stew about my age (which unfortunately for them is ever year around the first of September).

Quote of the day: “As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices:  take it or leave it.  ~Buddy Hackett”

p.s.:  This is so much better than the post I deleted previously today!! WHEW!!!

In my own little corner in my own little room…

So as you can tell, I’m still not very good about my daily posting schedule. Although you have to admit that two posts within less than a month is an improvement!! 

Not much new on the body transformation front.  Still trying to watch what I eat (as it slips from my fork to my mouth).  I am daily conscious of my portion control, though in reality it most likely still is not where it should be.  I do at least think about it from time to time.  (As I write this, I’m eating a double chocolate muffin that my boss brought in as a treat.)  So, take that for what it’s worth.

Summer is moving right along, as it is for you all, I’m sure.  Having my daughter away through the week is hard, and I miss her terribly during the week.  It really gives me something to look forward to on the weekends.  She is making such huge growth in her life while she is helping the girls to have a fun, spiritual week at camp.  I can’t say how proud I am of her.  She is really something, that girl!  It makes me want to be a better dad to my kids and husband to my wife.

The thing that I seem to have the hardest time with right now is getting things done around the house.  My wife will attest to this in no  uncertain terms, I’m sure.  She is a wonderfully patient woman with the greatest of love for me (heaven knows why because I don’t give her reason to…), but her patience is reaching it’s limit.  I have broken sprinkler heads, weeds, overgrown roses (if anyone has any secrets to pruning roses, let me know!) and a host of other odd jobs that need addressing.  So there is the honey-do list and trying to budget out the money to get the supplies to fix them, and getting the gumption to actually do the repairs.  Then, of course, there’s the inevitable screw-ups that I make that cost us even more to replace what I broke as I was trying to fix things.  Yes, living with me is no picnic.  This is why my wife needs someone like Oprah to give her favorite things!

I’m going to plug, again (and again and again!) the Hunt Mysteries shows in August and September.  The Altos – a little lower than the Sopranos will be running each Friday and Saturday in Ogden at Boccia’s and Sandy at Spaghetti Mama’s.  Go to Hunt Mysteries website for complete details. (Tickets to the show are less than $15/person, with food optional) When you make your reservations, tell them you know me and heard about this from my blog to get a discount.  It is the greatest Hunt Mysteries show they have.  And we all have such a great time doing it.  Come see it!!  You won’t be disappointed.

Quote for the day:

“If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information:  French-fried potatoes are out.”  ~Jean Kerr

The wages of sin don’t pay very much…

Well, here it is, July 1, 2010, and my last update was ages ago.  I am still very fat, and still working on changing that.  I have made some progress, if slowly, and continue with hope.  This blog is going to change somewhat from what it was.  I will be posting much more often, and not really doing some of things I had decided to do in the past.  I will keep updating about my struggle with the bulge, and my eating habits (such as they are).  But this is going to become a much more personal blog.

Many of you know that I am a hopeless ham actor.  I am active in the Utah Opera Chorus and with Hunt Mysteries.  To that end, I am involved in shows every weekend from now through September with shows at Spaghetti Mama’s in Sandy and Boccia’s in Ogden.  There are three shows I will be doing, “An Oscar Winning Confession,” “A Cruise to Remember” and “The Altos: A Little Lower than the Sopranos.”  Dates and locations can be found at the Hunt Mysteries website.  They have changed their way of doing public shows from the past, in that you pay a smaller price to see the show, and then you can, if you would like, purchase food separately at the restaurant.  And if you will let me know ahead of time, you can also get a discount on the ticket price, just because you know me!  So, see there is a perk to being my friend!

As I said this would be a more personal blog than in the past.  I plan on letting you know of what I’m up to, what I’m interested in, what bugs me, etc.  If you follow this, you probably have an interest in what I have to say, and if you don’t, then you wouldn’t be following this.  As I’ve said in the past, I never could figure out why people would want to hear what I have to say, but it seems that a few of you do, so I’m capitalizing on that.

My current obsession is with the music of Louis Moreau Gottschalk.  He was an American composer born in the 1820’s in Louisiana.  He spent most of his creative period in Europe, but wrote with a distinctly American flair.  I have come across many of this piano works, and I am enthralled!  Here is an mp3 of a piece titled “Tournament Galop.”  I LOVE this work!  I will never be able to play this or many other of his works, but I love them.  Hope you enjoy it, too.

So, here’s to a new spate of posts, and hopefully a thinner, leaner, more adorable me.  And thanks for making me feel important by following my ramblings.  You are all fantastic!

Quote of the day:

If God had intended us to follow recipes,
He wouldn't have given us grandmothers.
~Linda Henley