You Need How Much Money?!?!?

Yesterday’s list: Strawberry low fat yogurt, Bratwurst with mustard, relish and sauerkraut, sour cream and cheddar potato chips, Diet Coke, potato salad, Chicken club sandwich, french fries, 7 Mrs. Fields nibblers.

I had a nice chat with a good friend on Sunday.  She has gone the rounds with trying to lose weight, and has been fairly successful, but still battles with it (her words, not mine).  It’s always nice to know that people actually read this thing.  And that they are rooting for me, too.  I have to admit that my infrequency here has been partially due to a crazy schedule, but probably mostly due to getting a little tired of all the talk and no action.  It has been hard to get the things done that I have wanted to do.  And it’s easy to say that if I really wanted it enough I’d find a way to get it all in.  When there are a lot of things pulling at you from all sides, picking which one is more important is not always an easy thing.  Do I put my kids aside to go to a Weight watchers meeting, or go buy shoes, or attend to work around the house?  Which of these gets priority?  Which can wait until another day?

Also, how do you rearrange funds when your kids have a ton of end-of-year expenses?  Do I tell my kids they can’t have a yearbook?  Do I make them forgo senior banquet?  It is all frustrating to me, but hopefully they don’t see any of that.  I just want to get on with actually accomplishing something and doing it well.  So there you have it.

Today’s quote:

“No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.  ~Channing Pollock”

This Little Piggy Went to Market…

Here’s yesterday’s list: Chocolate Dunford donut, 2 chocolate cherry cordials, 2 chocolate raspberry cordials, Subway foot long turkey and cheese, potato chips, pretzels, cheese danish, Big H, fries, 1/2 hot dog, and a Diet Coke.

Well, if you fall off the wagon, fall hard.

Life has just been so frantic.  My eating habits go completely screwy when things get hectic.  I tend to eat anything in sight.  So this is going to be one big area to watch as I go forward.  We are going to get into Weight Watchers this week.  I will finally be done with the opera and have some time to think.  Not much time, but some.  Also, I have been talking with a dietician who will be helping me to formulate a strategy to get this off on the right foot.

I’m very anxious about all this.  I don’t like change much, but some change has to take place.  And although this is something that I want, I’m also a little nervous about the things this will change.  I can no longer be complacent about things.  The status quo is no longer acceptable.

Today’s quote:

“I bought a talking refrigerator that said "Oink" every time I opened the door.  It made me hungry for pork chops.”  ~Marie Mott

Instant Gratification Takes Too Long…

Monday: One bowl apple jacks cereal with milk, Chicken flavor ramen, peanut butter sandwich, cheese quesadilla, blueberry yogurt and peach yogurt.

So, It’s been a while.  Last week really go away from me.  I decided rather than chastise myself about it and make myself crazy, I would just get a fresh start.  This may happen from time to time in all aspects of my life, but the important thing is not to give up but to move on and make a fresh start.

I am going to get some help in all this.  I have a registered dietician in my ward who is going to help me with diet and exercise to get me in line.  My wife and I are also joining Weight Watchers to help in all this, too.  This is going to be a long journey.  Sometimes I get a little discouraged by that prospect.  I know it’s important, but it is daunting to think that this will take 2-3 years to get to my goal.  That’s not to say that I don’t know how important it is.  In all reality my life depends on it.

Today’s quote:

“The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn't even know they carried.”  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Fatty, Fatty, Two By Four…

Here’s yesterday’s little list:

General Tso’s chicken, ham fried rice, 2 spring rolls, fortune cookie, diet coke, 2 chicken cheese flour taquitos, 2 slices of toast, chocolate covered strawberry.

Well, the blood has been drawn.  I don’t know how long until I get results, but I’m looking forward to it.  My blood pressure was good, and I have hope that my blood work will be good, as well.

My greatest concern right now is making it through “hell week” on the opera.  Don’t get me wrong by that: I love the opera we’re doing.  I love the cast, crew and production team.  This has been one of my favorite shows ever.  It has been a ton of fun!  The great director we have has been one of the easiest people to work with we have ever had.  What a great experience.  But “hell week” is aptly named.  It is the week we spend doing tech, piano dress and orchestra dress rehearsals.  These nights are long and we have to run through scenes repeatedly.  By the end of the week, it gets really long.  And I get really tired.  Then I usually get cranky.  That’s never very good. 

Here’s today’s quote:

“After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual "food" out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.  ~Miss Piggy”

Just a quick update…

The weekend list:

Friday: Strawberry low fat yogurt, peanut butter and chocolate chip tortilla, chicken pot pie, goldfish, 1 slice cheese pizza, 2 slices sausage mushroom pizza, 1 slice hawaiian pizza, Diet coke, nachos, 1/2 chicken chimichanga.

Saturday: Chinese buffet with crab and cheese, cheese wontons, sesame chicken, teriyaki chicken, fried rice, biscuits, peanut buster parfait, diet coke.

Sunday: frosted flakes, 2 slices toast, baked salmon, wild rice, green beans, diet coke, sugar cookies.

Friday was a total bust, but the rest of the weekend wasn’t too bad. Today I’m fasting so I can take my blood tests.  It’s rough doing this during rehearsals, but I am committed to making this work.

I got several nice comments over the weekend and want to thank you for those.  It means a lot to get that encouragement.

Today’s quote:

“Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.  ~Fran Lebowitz”

More Chins Than a Chinese Phonebook…

Here’s the list: Bacon, egg, and cheese croisanwich, hash browns, 1/2 roast beef and cheese sandwich, chicken club sandwich, fries and Diet coke, popcorn, and donut holes.

It’s Friday, and it feels like the week has been twice as long as any other.  I am so ready for the weekend.  I always get this way as the opera gets closer to opening.  The final week is always a long one.  I was so disappointed last night when I got out of rehearsal and realized it was still Thursday.  I almost cried!

Well, this is when things start to get serious.  To make sure I’m around for my family I have to get this done, and keep at it. I know it’s going to be harder than anything I’ve ever done.  And keeping at it is going to be hard, as well.  But with the threat of surgery looming over my head, I think that will be a good motivator.

It’s so hard to contemplate this.  I carry the equivalent of my four children around with me every day.  I’m over twice the man I used to be, and I’m hoping to become less than half the man I am now.  I know that it will take months and months to get there.

Today’s quote:

“I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.  ~Jane Wagner”

Nobody Knows the Truffles I’ve Seen…

Here’s the list from yesterday: 6 fish sticks, corn, Diet Coke, spaghetti and meatballs, garlic cheese bread.

Yesterday was a weird day.  I didn’t eat anything because of my doctor’s appointment.  I knew that I would need to have blood work done, so I didn’t eat.  Then it turned out that I needed to have a 12 hour fast, and I was only at 9 1/2 hours.

So, to business.  I was told that I have to make the changes now.  I was told that surgery is in my future if I don’t make the changes now, and in the fairly near future.  He is giving me 6 months to show real commitment and improvement or it’s cutting time.  I told him my biggest concern with surgery was the anesthesia.  He said, yes there are risks as large as I am, but he can guarantee me that if I don’t do something, my weight will kill me.  I have known that, but it’s sobering to hear it out loud.  I am going to join Weight Watchers this weekend.  And I am getting shoes that I can walk in as well.

I have felt for the longest time now that I am in limbo: in life, in my health, in a lot of things.  Well, for hell’s sake, I’m 43 years old.  It’s about damn time I got out of my rut!  This has all been a giant kick in my butt to get what I’ve known for years I needed to do.  I don’t want my kids growing up without a father.  I don’t want my kids to grow up with the legacy of obesity.  I don’t want them to follow in my footsteps and have the same problem.  I can’t tell you how much all the comments and words of encouragement mean to me.  Every time I see a comment, I think how lucky I am that I have friends and family who care enough to take time to read this piddley little blog.  I always said I could never see the purpose of me having a blog.  Who would want to read what I have to say.  But I am so very grateful that you all do take the time to read this.  And that you take the time to help me with your thoughts, prayers and kind words.

Thank you all!

Today’s quote:

“And I find chopsticks frankly distressing.  Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven't yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food?  ~Bill Bryson”

Welcome to My Parlor Said the Spider to the Fly…

Here’s yesterday’s list: Apple cinnamon oatmeal, 2 chocolate dipped strawberries, 3 sm. slices pepperoni pizza, crazy bread, blueberry low fat yogurt, peanut butter chocolate chip tortilla, 1 lrg. slice sausage pepperoni pizza, 1 lrg. slice barbecue chicken bacon pizza, Diet coke and carrot cookies.

I have a lot of anxiety today, as I am going to the doctor for the first time in about 4 years.  You may ask, “why so long?”  I would answer, “because.”

Several years ago, I was going to a doctor (I don’t even remember his name) who had once told me when I expressed concern over my weight, “Well, you’ll have a harder time losing it now that your older.”  That was it.  I wasn’t too thrilled to go to him, but too lazy to switch.  Then one day I needed an appointment, he was out of town, and one of his colleagues took the appointment.  He was blunt and straight-forward with me about my weight and general health.  I thought, “This is what I need,” and switched my record to him.  He helped me along for a few years, and then retired.  A few months after he retired, he died.  I just haven’t been back to a doctor since.

I’m not sure what I’m expecting today, but I am very scared.  I have never been even borderline diabetic or anything else.  But it has been 4 years and I’m not so sure that everything will be fine.  Anyway, I’ll report more tomorrow.

Today’s quote:

“A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.  ~Old New York Proverb”

Delicious Cake! Nom, nom, nom….

Here’s yesterday’s list: Cinnamon roll oatmeal, strawberry low fat yogurt, 4 taquitos w/ cheese and sour cream, 7 Hershey’s kisses, chex mix, peanut butter and chocolate chip tortilla, chicken club sandwich, french fries, Diet coke.

My travels along this journey have been very strange.  And I’m starting to feel like I’m beating a broken drum.  I know what it is I am supposed to be doing, and I know what it is that I am currently doing.  I also have grown a little tired of listening to my own platitudes.  Luckily I should be able to get what I need to start exercising this weekend.  Then maybe I can start giving some good news on my battle.

I was surfing the net yesterday, and came across “The Gabriel Plan.”  This is a diet plan supposedly created that lowers the “set point” of your metabolism and helps you burn fat without really changing anything other than the types of foods you eat.  Admittedly, I am sketchy on the particulars, because I haven’t read the book and the website give only cursory details on the diet.  I have seen a dozen of these things over the years.  I just don’t trust “miracle” diets.  And frankly, I’d a lot rather know that I lost my weight through change of habits and increased exercise than through some sort of wonder drug or supplement that I will have to take for the rest of my life to maintain the loss.

As they say, everyone is looking for instant gratification.  Instant gratification takes too long.  I know this is going to be a long process.  Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months, months to years.  Losing the equivalent of a whole person isn’t going to be quick and easy.  I just want to be able to see that something is happening.  Even though I’m doing nothing more than listing my daily graze.  But I have to do more if I expect to see progress.  So in addition to this, I ask that you pray for me.  Not much, just remember me once in a while. 

I realized that I have given the same quite twice, so today I have two quotes:

“Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.  ~Voltaire”

“Red meat is not bad for you.  Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you!  ~Tommy Smothers”

p.s. – I know it’s wrong, but that picture makes me laugh.

All of My Sins Are Not as Numerous as All of My Chins…

A new week.  Here’s the list:

Friday: 1 blueberry low fat yogurt, 1 blackberry yogurt, 2 chicken enchiladas, chips and salsa, rice pudding, oatmeal cookies, 1/2 chicken club scone, cheese fries, onion straws, Diet coke.

Saturday: mushroom, green pepper, onion and cheese omelet, hash browns, ham and cheese tart, spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, 1/2 raspberry cheese danish, chocolate ice cream.

Sunday:  2 turkey sandwiches, potato chips, quesadilla, black bean torte, salad and diet coke.

Over the weekend I got a very nice comment from someone who wished to remain anonymous.  They told me I should just ignore whatever anyone else thought and exercise in my levis.  Thanks for the encouragement. I know that I need to get moving, and having your encouraging words helps a lot.

I guess my biggest obstacle right now is my pride.  I hate the thought of going to exercise in levis.  I need to just start by getting out walking.  I am in rehearsals now for the opera and that makes it hard to have much free time to do anything.  But I guess it’s all a matter of priorities. 

I was also recommended to check out JC Penney and Famous Footwear for shoes.  My problem with shopping at most places for shoes is that they carry very limited selection in my size, which is a 14.  Payless usually only has maybe 8-12 pair total.  I have never seen a 14 in Famous Footwear, and haven’t really checked at JC Penney.  This has been a problem for me for years.  My feet hit size 14 in high school, and it has been a joy to find shoes ever since.  Add to that the size I have to get clothes in now, and you see a trend.  I can shop at very few stores, and those stores charge a premium for my sizes.  I’m not saying they shouldn’t.  They are not the common sizes, so I expect to pay more.  But sometimes twice or three times the amount is a bit excessive. [end soapbox mode]

Today’s quote:

“The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.  ~Author Unknown”

If I Had a Donut for Every Time I’ve Heard That…

Let’s hear it for the weekend!!  Here’s the list:

1 sesame seed bagel w/ cream cheese, 2 chocolate dipped strawberries, 2 string cheese, chicken bakes, cheese danish, Stroganoff burger, cheese fries, Diet Coke.

Today’s post will be short.  I’m tired and can’t think of anything witty to say.  I’m so looking forward to this weekend.  Time to be with my family and have some fun.  Yard work looks to be out, as it is supposed to be raining all weekend.  I’m going to see Pirates of Penzance at the high school with my son on Saturday.  The only real down side to the weekend is opera rehearsal on Sunday.  They seem to do this every show just because they can.

Anyway, I suggest you all have a great weekend, make the most of it you can, and I be back bright and early (sort of) on Monday.

Today’s quote:

“I'll bet what motivated the British to colonize so much of the world is that they were just looking for a decent meal.  ~Martha Harrison”